


Pause

by cavedinwriter



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Bickering, Fluff, Gamer Benrey, Gordon's bad at emotions, He/Himrey, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rated T for language, Soda, Swearing, but honestly there's not that much obvious pining its just them vibing tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26258479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cavedinwriter/pseuds/cavedinwriter
Summary: Gordon and Benrey stop at a gas station during a long ride home.
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 5
Kudos: 181





	Pause

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first hlvrai fic I'm posting, exciting!  
> My general thoughts for most stuff that I write for hlvrai is that it's not a game and after the ACAB stream they all buy a house and live together, so that's the "home" referenced in this fic. That's not super important to reading this, though!

The road before Gordon was blurry, the tail lights in front of him casting lines into the dark. He blinked a few times to refocus, catching sight of a sign on the highway. There was a gas station coming up. A glance at his phone told him they still had another 45 minutes before they would make it home.

“I think I’m gonna stop at a gas station, that sound good to you buddy?” Gordon said.

“Sure, bro.” There was no lull in the various clicks and beeps coming from whatever game Benrey was playing on his switch. He hadn’t even looked up.

Gordon watched Benrey out of the corner of his eye as he pulled off the highway. His knees were propped against the dashboard, switch resting against them and eyes focused on the screen. He didn’t have a hat on and his hood was down, a rare sight for him. It allowed Gordon an unrestricted view of his face, lit from underneath by the glow of the screen. His eyes were the same unnerving yellow as always, but something about the way the light hit them drew Gordon in.

He pulled into the parking lot but waited a minute to get out. Apparently he hesitated too long, because Benrey’s eyes swung from his switch to fix on his face.

“What’s the fuckin holdup?”

“I- You weren’t getting up either dude, jeez! I’m just tired. Resting my eyeballs.”

“Whatever, man, I want some fuckin soda.”

“Okay, let’s go get some then.” Gordon unbuckled his seatbelt and got out. Benrey slid his knees down and did the same.

The winter night air had Gordon shivering even with a sweater on. Benrey seemed to be bothered by it too, though he was trying to hide it. As they walked through the parking lot, he pulled his hoodie strings so his face was mostly hidden. Gordon couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Dude, you look ridiculous.”

“Shut the fuck- Listen, it’s cold, ok?”

“That’s why you don’t wear shorts in 35 degree weather, dipshit.” Gordon motioned with one of his feet as he walked. Benrey glared at him.

“Don’t tell me how to dress.”

“I’m not te- Fuck, man, whatever. Freeze to death if you want to.” He shook his head with exasperation, but his voice was light.

“Not gonna freeze. ‘M like a goddamn… space heater. Generate my own fuckin- heat field.” He mumbled as they entered the store. Gordon blinked a little at the fluorescent lights that stung his eyes.

“Yeah, how’s that working out for you right now, huh?” Gordon elbowed him. Benrey let out a string of sounds that could only be described as ‘BBBBB’ and shrugged. It was true, Benrey ran warm, but he suffered in cold weather. And of course, he was stubborn and wouldn’t give up his fucking shorts and hoodie combo. Gordon would get him to wear pants one day.

The cashier looked up at them blearily. They looked about as pleased to be up this late as Gordon did. Benrey immediately made a beeline for the snacks, while Gordon drifted over to the drinks. Having coffee this late was a terrible idea, since he was hoping to crash as soon as they got home. Still, he wasn’t sure if he could keep his eyes open for very much longer.

With a sigh he grabbed a coffee and turned away from the drink machine, nearly smacking into Benrey who was suddenly very close.

“Whoah, hey man.”

“You really drinkin’ a fuckin… starbucks. A fuckin frappacino.” Benrey poked at the bottle in his hand.

“Fuck off! I need to stay awake so I can get us home in one piece. Unless you  _ want _ me to crash.” Gordon snatched the bottle away.

“Let me drive.” Benrey said, a grin slowly creeping onto his face. Gordon could barely contain his horror.

“Do you know how?” That didn’t matter, Gordon didn’t trust him with a car anyway.

“...What?”

“Do you know how to drive?”

“What? How hard could it be. ‘S just like mario kart. I’m a beast at mario kart. Super mario kart. Mario kart 64. Mario kart the- the fuckin- the new one. Mario kart 8. On the Nintendo Switch, baby. I fucking rule at it.” He rambled. 

“Oh my god,” Gordon said weakly, “I am never letting you drive.”

“All you gotta do is press a couple buttons and turn. Not that hard.” Benrey shrugged, wandering back over to the snacks and coming through for something he wanted. He settled on a family-size bag of hot cheetos. Gordon could respect that.

“There’s more to it than that! There’s- there’s- there’s rules, man!” Gordon said angrily. Benrey barely even looked at him before tossing the bag of cheetos his way. Gordon managed to catch it.

“Gonna grab a soda.” He said. Gordon stared in silence, mouth hanging open a little. He could only hope to take that as ‘Ok Gordon, I will never set foot in a car without express permission and I will never ever drive one’.

Benrey came back a few moments later and gave the soda to Gordon too. He figured that meant Benrey wasn’t paying. Did he even have money? He shook his head to clear it and walked up to the cashier, putting the snacks down and pulling out his wallet.

The cashier rang him up wordlessly and Gordon thanked god that they were both too tired to make awkward conversation. He could see the cashier glancing over his shoulder, presumably at Benrey. Hopefully he wasn’t doing anything too strange.

Once he’d paid, he gathered up the snacks and went to grab Benrey. He was standing near the doorway, staring up at the security camera.

“Don’t do that, it’s creepy.” Gordon said, shoving everything except his coffee into Benrey’s arms. Benrey took it without comment. It was the least he could do after making Gordon pay for all of it. He wasn’t actually mad about that, but hey, if it meant he didn’t have to carry shit.

He cracked open his coffee and took a sip as they walked back to the car. They sat quietly for a few minutes, each with their respective snacks, until Benrey cleared his throat.

“You want uh- some cheetos?” He held out the bag. Gordon tried not to look too surprised that Benrey was actually offering him something for once.

“Thanks.” He grabbed a handful. Benrey gave a quick smile and Gordon’s stomach did a flip. What the fuck.

When he finally started driving again, he felt jittery and nervous. He wasn’t sure if it was the coffee, Benrey smiling at him, or a combination of both. Why would he do that? He’d ignored Gordon the whole ride, been a menace at the store, and now… He flipped back and forth between being completely obnoxious to affectionate in the blink of an eye and it made Gordon’s head spin. The best thing to do was probably not think about it, right? Try as he might, it wasn’t that simple.

All the dumb shit Benrey said wormed its way into his brain, for better or for worse. He was left with a confusing whirlwind of game-related ramblings and confusing attempts at flirtation(?). Honestly, the flirting(hell, he still wasn’t sure what to call it) didn’t phase him as much as the genuine smiles and laughter he could coax out sometimes.

“Yo, you good Feetman?” Benrey interrupted his thoughts. Gordon blinked.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“You were staring into space. Still driving fine, lookin’ all blank though.”

“I was just… thinking.”

“Thinkin’ bout what?” Benrey cocked his head to the side. The incessant clicking from his switch stopped. He sounded genuinely curious.

“Why does it matter?” Gordon said, harsher than he meant to. Benrey’s face crumpled for a second before going neutral. Immediately he regretted it.

“Jeez, dude. Just curious. Tryna make- friendly conversation. Be a pal.”

“Sorry.” Gordon said lamely.

“Mh.”

“Really. I didn’t mean to snap, it’s just- it’s late. And I’m tired, and I don’t… I don’t really wanna talk about it.” Gordon said, his throat constricting. Holy shit, was he really about to cry because of his weird feelings about Benrey’s fucking  _ smile?  _ Wow.

“Okay.” Benrey said. He didn’t seem too upset, or at least Gordon hoped he wasn’t. He sighed, keeping his eyes on the road. It was less distracting than trying to puzzle together what Benrey was thinking from his face. 

Benrey started playing whatever game on his switch again, and it was oddly soothing listening to the repetitive sound of the buttons. Slowly, the tension left his shoulders and Gordon relaxed. His brain went on autopilot and soon they were pulling into the driveway of the house. Once again, Gordon found himself sitting in his seat making no move to get up. Benrey didn’t either, just turned his head to look at him quizzically.

“You sure you’re good?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Gordon mustered up a half smile, and Benrey seemed to take it.

“Good.” Benrey said without ceremony, climbing out of the car. Gordon blinked. Despite their bickering at the gas station, he sounded genuine. He was too fucking tired to decipher how that made him feel, so instead of thinking he got out and followed Benrey inside.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this banter-with-a-side-of-gay


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